Weekend photos...

Scaring the birds

Fly birdies bly

siblings

On your mark

get

set

go!

Mission accomplished

So serious

Wait what did you say?

Starting the process of  repurposes old sweatshirts

Mia, the assistant on the rotary cutter and cutting board

The start of repurposing an old oil painting

On the inside looking out...

I see something interesting...

intuition, pizza, gut feelings, Dave Ramsey, fraud, and stolen cards

A week ago today, I was busy cleaning and getting ready for weekend guests.  Robert was at work and I figured it was a good time to order pizza.  When giving my information to the individual on the phone I had a bad feeling.  A negative gut reaction if you would to her persistence that she didn't hear me and asking me to repeat my information multiple times.  My inner voice said, "I bet she steals your information".

Fast forward to Thursday.  I was working at the hospital and attempted to purchase myself lunch when my card was declined.  The cashier kept saying, oh it's this machine, sorry.  I paid in cash and went on my way.  Today, I attempted to make a purchase at Target, my card declined.  So I sign onto my on-line banking account only to find multiple purchases had been made that I myself did not make.

Quick phone calls were made to the bank and I learned that apparently this woman in addition to making purchases from Walmart.com and Match.com (apparently she didn't know I was married); also attempted to make purchases from Lulu Lemon, Uber, and others I didn't recognize.

To say I'm feeling a bit angry is an understatement.

Good news is- I will be reimbursed for the purchases I did not make.  I will get an entirely different number.  This current card has been discontinued or stopped; whatever they do to it.

I remember distinctly what that woman's voice sounded like.  I have every intention to walk into the pizza place myself and complete my own investigation/interrogation -or- at the very least make a report to the police about what I believe happened.  It isn't good for criminals when the mess with individuals like myself who remember useless pieces of information like your voice, or the day/time of my weird intuitions.

Moral of the story... don't make purchases over the phone.  Always go in yourself or pay cash.  Go Dave Ramsey- I believe I will change from making over 60% of purchases with cash to fully implement your cash suggestions now.

Duluth by Quad Bicycle

We, meaning Robert and I were fortunate to have his twin brother and his mother come visit for a few days.  A short morning visit to Canal Park via Quad bicycle was enjoyed...

If I could tell you...

If I could tell you...

I would tell you to leave.  I would tell you to break off your relationship.  I would tell you to put one foot in front of the other and walk out the door; while you are still alive.  Alive in multiple senses... emotionally alive, mentally alive, and well, physically alive.  Leave while you are whole.

I would tell you about the scars mental and emotional abuse leave.  I would tell you about the nightmares that continue for years later.  I would tell you irrational fears that develop and take years to overcome.  I would tell you that the further you go and the more you start believing you are crazy; you are not.  That is your inner voice telling you in a backwards way that you are not safe and you are now closer to being completely controlled by someone else.

I would tell you the further you go into a relationship and the more often fleeting visions pop into your head of being murdered by someone you are supposed to love, are actually internal warning signs that you are not in the right place.  I would tell you NOT to ignore them but to heed to them and walk away.  I would tell you that the emotional and mental abuse are suffocating and to this day I panic when anything gets too close to my neck.

I would tell you that you are most likely being treated with the utmost respect as of now.  You are a princess in his eyes now.  You are being told that all of his ex-girlfriends were 'crazy' and that he can't believe his fortune to now have finally found someone normal.  You are being praised and/or worshiped in someway that feels good a this moment.

And now I will tell you that this all comes to an end.  He will find your weak spots and exploit them.  He will find out your fears and exploit them.  He will intentionally creak havoc and mayhem because he thrives on it- and you will be in the middle of it.  You will start to wonder who the crazy woman is you've become.  You will be confused and not understand.  You will be looking for a way out. If, and that is truly, a BIG IF, you find your way out, the manipulation will continue.  Perhaps for even years.  If you are weak, you may become a princess again, and you may hear promises that things will work out.  If you are strong, you will eventually find your whole self again- but you will be forever changed.  Jaded, and in need of finding inner peace, and in need of answers to how something like that could have happened to you by someone you thought you trusted.  You will also learn what religious abuse is- because it will happen to you.

I would also tell you, that there are others out there who are more deserving of your love. Other out there who would be thrilled to have you as a friend/spouse someday.  There will be someone out there that will encourage and support you for who you are and not who they try to make you out to be.

No title of 'wife', symbol of a ring, or perceived social status of "being married" is worth what you will go through if you don't get out.

I will also share that I am beyond thankful and blessed to have a husband now who treats me with respect, who cares for me far beyond what I imagined, and shares faith with me.  A husband who does not manipulate me, who understand my fears and keeps me safe.  A husband who would give his all for me.

I don't know you; although I've heard your name.  I encourage you to reach out the others who have already gone through what you are likely to endure with time; and really contemplate if that is what you want.  I write this today because I don't ever want to hear another woman say, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"  "Why didn't anyone say anything?"  It is here written...

A much needed "memory-cation"

For whatever reason, this past week has been particularly difficult.  The struggle has been grappling with keeping a positive mind-set and being frustrated and even irritable with many many things.  This isn't a posting in which I will be delving into the minutia of life and agonizingly picking it apart to better understand; it is about keeping happiness near the surface of your heart.

Last evening a wild thunderstorm crept through our area leaving in its wake hours of endless rain.  Rain well into today.  While I'm not one who generally allows myself to be irritated by the weather, I certainly was today.  Plans for biking went out the window, leaving mundane tasks to be completed, that was if I could find the motivation to do them.  I pondered throughout the day what I could do to kick start my internal engine to be satisfied and feel productive.  Really it was just a depressing day.  Yes, cleaning got done, but it got done without feelings of accomplishment.  The dogs got walked and played with, without feelings of accomplishment.    Dinner got made and eaten, also without feeling like anything had been accomplished.  In this self miserious (I just made that word up) funk I tried to think up something I had done that was completely and utterly relaxing and rejuvenating.   I had just the memory. The Flamingo Spa in Helsinki Finland.  It was a happy memory and I knew just where to go to relax and relive this memory-the shower.  I have often turned to long hot showers to relax and let go of worries and stresses, so it was the perfect place to go into my head for a "memory-cation".

Memories of the Flamingo


I stepped into the shower and brought myself back to the Flamingo.  I instantly recalled the sounds, smells, sights.  The most relaxing described below...

Pool One: The mineral pool.  All worries and stresses are quick to elude the memory while floating on your back with your ears submerged listening to the gentle classical calming underwater music.  Floating, eyes closed, peace enveloping your being, only to be interrupted when you accidentally float into the side of the pool or your legs become so heavy they start falling and your feet hit the pool bottom.  Reality returns but only fleetingly until you are ready to return to some form of grounded relaxation where then you turn to the submerged bubbling water beds.  I think I'll have to mentally return here more often.

Pool Two: A shallow warm bath water pool.  You sit and the water comes up to your chest.  A great place to chat about life's mysteries, future plans, dreams, and so forth with good friends.  I recalled feeling at peace hanging out with my Finnish friends.  Chatting about life.  It reminds me that I should email more often.

Sauna One: Your typical steam sauna.  Relaxation to the core where life weary muscles can relax and rejuvenate.

Sauna Two: A steam sauna.  Two variations if I remember correctly.  The fragrances were different.  Not quite as hot as your typical Finnish sauna but relaxing and rejuvenating.  A wonderful place for continued conversation or friendly silence.

Following these relaxing areas I mentally returned to the salt lounge.

The Salt Lounge:  Flopping down on a couch the air feels cool to my skin but wonderful to breath in.  There are large pieces of salt I'm not sure from where with water running.  Peaceful calming music play and I quickly found myself asleep.  I've since learned that being in a salt room is actually good for respiration.  No wonder I felt so good.  I recalled this memory and am reminded to go visit the Salt Caves in Minneapolis again.

As conversations wind down and returning to reality is necessary a great place to return was the wheel shower.

The Wheel Shower:  This is a great place to end your stay or to reground yourself after relaxing.  The wheel turns and alternating dumps warm and cold water on you.  Rejuvenating and refreshing to say the least.

I shut off the shower and stepped out.  Feeling refreshed and at least ready to face tomorrow with a different mind set.  I will physically return someday, for now, it'll have to be a "memory-cation" when relaxing and rejuvenating is needed.

Where do you go mentally to reset?