Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I have a secret.

I have a secret.  Shhh… don’t tell a soul!  (smile)
Hi, my name is Rachael and I am a PROCRASTINATOR.
The definition of the act of procrastination is this; putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time. 
I am the MASTER of procrastination.  On any given day my “to-do” list is a mile long, the next day my “to-do” list is two miles long, and it grows exponentially every day after.  Periodically I have moments when “Super-Efficient Rachael” shows up and the 3 mile long list becomes a quarter mile long list or no list, and then the cycle starts again. (Truth is I function best and my most creative work is done when I am under pressure.)
Being the MASTER of procrastination for me also means having multiple extra-curricular activities; whether they are self-imposed or duties given to you in which you feel obligated to do.  Here are my extra-curricular activities, it should be noted that not all extra activities are stress inducing or bad.  They are just extra activities.
Extra-Curricular Activities:
·         Volunteer Domestic Abuse Advocate for SafeJourney
·         Speech Therapy Private Practice outside of typical work hours
·         Working out at the gym (there is a necessity in this that I will address at a later time)
·         Photography- (a renewed hobby)
·         Visiting my nieces and nephews
·         Teaching a youth bible study a few times a year
·         Head of a baking committee for church
·         Head of the cleaning committee for church
·         Sitting on the Youth-Work Committee for church
·         Sitting on the Calendar Committee for work
·         Building Representative for Licensure Renewal for work
·         Participating on the Innovation Team for work
The humorous thing to me is that people close to me think that I am not a procrastinator but rather I am just busy and I just have too much to do.  Well, I am busy.  I need to be busy and I need to have things to do so that I can put off or delay or defer action to a later time.  If I didn’t have things to do I wouldn’t have an excuse to not be doing what I should be doing at that time.  (For example, right now I should be writing reports for work, but rather I am writing about procrastination.  The good thing is, my boss understands me and knows that, I WILL GET THE WORK DONE.)
So, what perhaps more people understand than I know, or perhaps people don’t understand is that, actually, my procrastination is a problem.  Perhaps it isn’t a problem for those around me, but it is a problem for ME, I get anxious when I don’t get things done that I want to get done.  Furthermore, there are consequences to procrastination.
There are many days that I go to bed telling myself Mary Anne Radmacher’s quote that, “Courage doesn’t always roar.  Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” 
For months, maybe even years now I have contemplated finding someone who specialized in cognitive based therapies or executive functioning therapies (and yes, I do know what part of the brain needs work) but I put it off… until today.  I am happy and even felt a little lighter knowing that I have an appointment set up with someone who specializes in working with adults who, yes, adults who procrastinate. 
We are never too old to learn; and to learn about ourselves, to increase our quality of life.  Maybe , just maybe... I am not a procrastinator.  We'll see...


Joni said...

I bumped into your blog from ... I don't remember where, a couple weeks ago. I love how you write! I can also appreciate many of your thoughts, as I also worked with kids with special needs some years ago, and I was also single until I was 'a little older'. We don't know each other, but your face is familiar to me (in your pictures on here.) Keep writing! :) Joni (Hillukka) Väätäinen

RL said...

Thanks Joni. You must be Gina's sister?

Joni said...

Yes, I am! :)