Saturday, September 3, 2011
Why?
As the wheels touch down with a thud I'm overwhelmed by sadness and loss; tears suddenly form in my eyes and are on the verge of spilling over. The seat belt sign is switched off and I walk off the plane in exhausted zombie mode. I move through the airport following the signs for international arrivals to U.S. customs; the entire time fighting this feeling of sadness. As I move back through the experiences of this particular trip there is no one incident that allows me to hang this hat of loss and sadness on. I find it frustrating that in all of my travels, never once have I arrived home to feel that I didn't belong here. Yet, sadly this is what it feels like.
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Sadly it feels this time that you don't belong here? Is that what you meant? I sort of understand. I've seen things in the world, been places here and there, and sometimes, it's the most normal and familiar things that create random and unfamiliar sensations within me.
That is what I meant. I still feel that way just not as strongly as I did then.
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