This is my life {Mom-hood}

There are some days where mom-hood or mom-dom feels so exhausting.  I'm trying my best to be the best mother for my two boys.  I get short sometimes, I get upset sometimes, I get irritable sometimes and when things slows down at the end of the day I feel horrible for feeling those feels. 

Cognitively I know I'm doing the best I can; emotionally I sometimes beat myself up. 

Daven my two year old has a strong strong will and personality.  His language skills are beyond that of typical developing 2 year 2 month olds; however, social emotionally he is right where he should be.  I find that I constantly have to remind myself that even if he talks like a nearly three year old he still needs me to emotionally match him where he's at.  What this means for bedtime is that he needs me to show him how to calm his body down, offer to lay with him until he falls asleep and for me to keep my patiences with him when his world is falling apart.  At his age the world falls apart over the fact that his five month old brother touched his shoulder, or that dad walked out of the room too quickly for him to process that he'd be alone reading a book for a minute while he went to the bathroom, or when mom didn't allow him to "come with you" when she walked into the other room even though he could still see me.  I get really tired somedays balancing and reminding myself of his different skill levels in different areas.

Henry on the other had is a typical five month old who loves to watch his brother play.  Loves to be snuggles by mom and is starting to enjoy playing in an exersaucer exploring all new types of activities.  He is laid back and easy going until... he is hungry and when he just wants to go to sleep.

Sometimes their needs clash and I'm unable to fulfill their needs at the same time.  Tonight was one such night.  I decided the best course of action to fulfill my need as a mother (yes my husband is very willing to help and does however we do things differently and somedays I feel the need for them to be done my way which means I do it) tonight was to try to put both of them to sleep at the same time.  After a few different attempts I managed to do so.  This is the result

This is mom-hood

Yes, there is a toddler bed there.  No, Daven won't sleep in it.  He decided a few weeks ago that he's sleeping on the floor.  No matter how many times I put him and all his blankets and pillow back in the bed, he brings them all out again and settles himself on the floor.  Henry nurses at night while lying down next to me; he had just finished a feeding.  This is us... this is the unglamorous side of mom-hood.  Undone hair, flabby post baby belly, baggy shorts, and a nursing tank.... and at this moment in my life- I wouldn't trade it for the world.  This my friends is my golden hour.

Side note: my photo challenge this week was to shoot during golden hour and that is how this post came about... no the photo itself technically is not shot as the golden hour but figuratively speaking... it is my Golden Hour.

Here are a few photos from this week of my little loves during the golden hour... my older bigger love doesn't like me to photograph him...